Reintroducing Me
Not as a letter, but a (part-time) blogger, allow me to reintroduce myself—in honor of passing the two-year mark this past summer since the start of this beautiful mess I’ve created. Beautiful in the way that, if my father were to see this blog in its entirety, he’d raise similar questions I ask myself each day: “Where am I going with this?”
And, indeed, that is exactly the point. I don’t know where I’m going. But I sure am enjoying every step of the way.
To reintroduce myself after nearly two years of what I’ve branded as my letters—I’m Lauren, a college student living in Philadelphia, originally from northeastern PA. As I recently turned 20 y/o, I’m constantly learning new things about myself and the world around me. More specifically, I love to do so through my studies of marketing, psychology, and consumer behavior, which I’m able to touch on within this outlet of writing to look back and see not only how I’ve made certain decisions in my life, but how I’ve grown from them. Another thing I’ve learned recently about myself is how I only use run-on sentences in pretty much any context—academically, professionally, and while blogging (big surprise)!
I’m a huge advocate for mental health for a lot of reasons, but mainly through my curiosities faced in my everyday life. Last night, as I got ready to sleep, I was actually looking forward to the following morning when I could wake up to study for a midterm exam I would have a few hours later.
Arising the next morning brought a different mindset, one that I so negatively carried around with me the whole day despite performing the same routines I usually would, and seeing the same faces I normally see walking on-campus. I’m only left to question how at one moment I could be so determined and ready to learn, and the next as unmotivated and lazy I’ve been in months.
Although my strive for academic and social validation is low, I force myself to look to a brighter side: at least my curiosities pertaining to these mood changes are allowing me to learn more about myself. In other words, what caused me to hit this roadblock? How can I avoid it in the future? What strategies can I build off of the past two days to find outlets of productiveness and motivation?
And here we are. At my strategy #1: journal about it.
This has actually always been my #1 strategy for centering myself to reality once again, but truthfully have only succeeded in doing so about 2 or 3 times these past few months.
Before I get too off-track, here are what makes me—me (and vulnerable enough to continue this blog):
My self-aura will always be the little girl, especially with two older brothers to constantly remind me :’)
I am constantly living in the future and what it could look like for me (hence why I’m blogging instead of studying right now)
I used to make excuses all the time (especially when it came to what seemed like the work of developing friendships), but have grown in just making them for myself once in a while
I never once not think what my next meal is going to be, and for that I’m one of the biggest foodies ever!
Having my mom as my best friend (if you know me you already knew this a long time ago)
I yearn to travel constantly but cry when I think about leaving home
I love to dress up and shop 24/7, even if no one is going to see me in a certain outfit
I’m super self-sufficient, and therefore always in competition with myself but never with others
Being a crazy cat lady behind closed doors (have never had a dog sorry)
My spirit animal is a lion—so much I used to want to be one when I grew up (?)
As I grow, the question crosses my mind at least five times a day—what do I want to do in this crazy life—almost as if I’ll never figure it out, no matter how many times I ask myself. Although I might not be destined to be a lion, jotting down these thoughts for myself (and anyone brave enough to read) reveals something about my future. Despite my constant internal reminders to “be where my feet are,” my urge to journal and motivate others helps me believe in how strongly I want to turn my career into helping those who need it most.
Whether it’s completing simple tasks for local non-profit organizations or giving a TED Talk, I continue to discover how impactful I can make my title as a college student (“a marketing major”)—something that extends beyond just fabricating a business’ image.
No matter the route, I’m just glad to be documenting it via this special blog that has become my safe space—and hopefully some others’ too! To my letters and many more to come,
Sincerely,
Lauren M Tauber
