Let’s Talk Spirituality
Dad,
I often mention God in my entries, and how “His plan,” combined with my faith has brought me to where I am today.
Although this is the case, I don’t talk about how I’ve been defining my own faith since moving away from home and starting my own life. For starters, my strongest belief is that no one is 100% certain of where they stand with God, since it can change day to day. In other words, everyone’s faith is their own faith journey, meaning that their definition of faith and relationship with God is never constant.
This is something I’ve learned to preach to my friends more often throughout my years at school, compared to not even knowing how to talk about religion or faith just a few years ago. I not only assume this belief based on my own past experiences, but the roller coaster of emotions I sometimes feel while doing my morning Bible devotions.
This morning, I read:
Psalm 106:21-23
& felt confused about God’s “wrath” that he felt towards those portrayed as “the wicked”. I question verses like these constantly, because isn’t God supposed to love and repent our sins, even if we ourselves aren’t ready to do so yet?
But then something seemed to shift in me as I got ready to write in the columns of my journaling Bible beside these verses. Instead of writing question marks (as I’ve frequently done in the past), I wrote:
“The Lord once showed resistance towards believing in us, so that we can have our own faith journeys”
Just as the Lord died for us and our sins, He also had His times when He turned on us, as imperfect humans, despite the covenant He once promised. Because the Bible tells this as so, it portrays to me that, as those same imperfect humans, we are allowed to feel differently about God on some days versus others.
Someone may be struggling on a day when they can’t get their outfit right, they forgot to prepare for a class, and it’s raining on top of it. Or, even when all of the above may be going right, you may be reminded that the outfit and academic record aren’t the end of the world.
That’s when God’s presence flickers in and reminds us that we are privileged enough to have more than one outfit and a plethora of educational opportunities.
Although I do hope it’s sunny where you are (as the newly found Jesuit in me sees God in ALL things—especially nature), here’s your reminder that we are all on our own faith journeys. If you attend mass or not, know what praying looks like or not, or do community service or not. And even if God is not who you look to spiritually, I believe you are on your own guided path of having faith.
So since you last saw me at 13 y.o., dad, my beliefs about faith and spirituality may have changed, but only along with my own, unique faith journey that’s brought me here, today.
Until next time,
Lauren
