Back to Freshman Year
Dear Dad,
Last time I identified myself as a freshman, I remember walking into our hometown public high school with the sole fear that I wasn't wearing the perfect outfit that painted the picture of the exact person I wanted to be. Unnoticed, with good style and personality, yet unbothered and shy.
Now, as I look back on my second and last year as a freshman, saying that I'm different would be an understatement. Moving to Philly with a friend that I met in elementary school while building a niche of friends from both close and far from home has been an experience that allowed me to grow even farther past that girl who thought she'd never speak up in front of a group (even when I thought I've already grown way beyond that point :D).
Per usual, I got involved with a little too much as Saint Joe's became a part of me. I ran for Student Senate, which landed me into the exec board position I have today. I immediately participated in all things campus ministry, knowledgeable that starting a more independent life for myself meant that I wanted to create a life being more dependent on God.
And lastly, the social battery that drove me through each and every day lead me to rushing for a sorority in the winter. As I learned more about myself through my experience in greek life, I slowly but surely realized that I was striving to be a painting of myself that I wasn't meant to be. I frequently thought back to that time of walking into my first day of freshman year in high school as I walked in with similar fears into chapter meetings. The difference, though, was that I knew who I was as 14 y/o Lauren. At 18 almost 19 y/o, time was beginning to move too quick for me to realize that I was about to commit to something that I wasn't sure felt like me.
After recently deciding to discontinue my sorority membership and prioritize the things that make me who I personally am, little 16 y/o Lauren surprised me yet again as I rediscovered this outlet she'd made to look back at her journal entries. And to her, I'm proud to say that as I've grown through my last year of being a freshman, I learned:
How to prolong the friendships that I believe have left a positive impact on me
To control my indecisiveness and leave the past in the past
To let go of worrying about things that are out of my control
To stay grounded, present, and be where my feet are (although I'll always be constantly working on this)
To not let a negative emotion from one outcome determine my mood
That love is real, and all around us; in people, places, memories, etc.
To not reap on the personal values and characteristics of others, wondering why they are not my own
To stick and rely on my own values, regardless of the internal pressures that I create
To always turn back to you, Dad, and God as my guides
&&& I bet if I sat here and wrote more for days I could. Here's to more lessons and adventures in Philly in just over two weeks!!!
Your daughter,
Lauren M Tauber
