My Last Day as a Teen
Dear Dad,
It was transformative, unforgettable, and the perfect conclusion to an era…sounds like a distorted reality.
Like most, in the end, birthdays may just feel like any other day of celebration. Christmas, Easter, etc., for those who celebrate, a birthday may have felt like celebrating a timeline that has finally passed, although in so many ways it doesn’t seem like yours. I felt this feeling many times, despite the blessing I’ve been given to be born the day after America’s birth of independence (in other words the fireworks are always in preparation for the most important day of the year and nothing else) :D
This “precursor” to my birthday as I like to call it was like many others, starting out with what a normal day of 8 hour work shifts have looked like for me this summer in retail—followed by a family dinner in downtown Bethlehem before watching fireworks.
What was so special about this last day as a teenager was being able look around the dinner table and reflect on how much I’ve grown throughout these years. And yes, dad, I know I’ve always rambled on about the “importance of growth” and “prioritizing yourself as you develop” but little did I know these lessons would come back to me again sitting within the same restaurant which was once our family’s go-to over a decade ago.
Of course, growth is constant. I will truly never fail to be amazed at how much one can learn and grow each day, especially as I remember writing one of my first journal entries after celebrating my 18th birthday.
I was analyzing the traditional birthday picture taken by my mom next to complementary dessert given at Maggiano’s (one of the best Italian spots) with a huge smile plastered across my face. Sure, she’s imagining a new world of independence, adulthood and a new beginning of college to come. But in a deeper sense, she’s stressed about making a group of friends she’s always wanted, hoping she made the right decision by staying close to home for college, and if she ate healthy enough that day.
This is what struck me hardest as I sat at tonight’s brewhouse thinking about how 15 years ago, 5 y/o Lauren sat just a few tables away eating away according to her strict diet of chicken tenders and fries. Fast forward ten years later, she would have been having a panic attack over contemplating carbs or fried food, to only then resort to her normal side salad. Tonight, as I picked up the menu for what has seemed like the 500th time in my life, I was happily overwhelmed that I didn’t know what to pick—because after that 8 hour work day—you best believe I wanted to order everything.
THIS is growth. THIS is what I’ve prayed on for years from high school to college: to once again find happiness and peace with how I felt about myself. Although I didn’t directly know that my authentic happiness would come from the healing of my relationship with self-image, food, and my daily routines, it did…and I couldn’t be more ready for my 20s.
07/04/2025, Fegley’s Bethlehem Brewworks
Before the official day rolls around in just 15 short minutes, here’s some goals I’ve been mentally jotting down to aim for during my 20th year on this big beautiful Earth!:::
To continue being where my feet are, not where my finger scrolls
Prioritize spending time with those who make me feel like me, and to stop making excuses for those that don’t
Continue to show gratitude for everything I have
Keep exercising to heal the soul
Rise a majority of days throughout the week ready to run; & run as far as I can!!!
Force myself to procrastinate (since life is not that serious & nothing needs to be done right away)!!!
Travel when needed to clear the mind, even if its day trips or a solo date
Stop valuing money as my worth/letting it determine my mood for the day
Read read read
Finish reading the Bible for the first time :)
Challenge and push myself more academically (out of the comfort zone)
Learn 10 new solid cookbook worthy dinner recipes'
Become more of a leader as an RA
Show love and kindness to all regardless of background or unconscious prejudgments
Birthdays could feel different after all, dad. I’ll make mine so by praying over these things just as I have for my happiness in the past and for the future. And with this 20 awaits…with some chicken fingers and fries in the mix :p
To feeling a little bit older each day, your 20 y/o,
Lauren
